Some things I like: basketball - play with myself, shoot hoops, pass around my back, dribble, spin on my finger, it feel good, but never with any other person; comic books - I like really strong stories and good art most, with women; Ms. Marvel is my favorite; drawing - any kind really, with any thing, pen, pencil, marker, charcoal, color pencil, chalk, on paper and stone; shapes, abstract and real; scallops are something I draw a lot, and mixed media with charcoal and pen and pencil; I like micron pens best; Painting -with acrylic on fabric, most times, but also sometimes on canvas; plants - native plants outside in wild, and in my garden for food, and dig in earth, and walk with them, see them grow, know names and know about them, and talk with other people about them; wildflowers, most in spring; Walking-in woods and field and fen and marsh and around big talus slopes. Music - my guitar, and listen music; all kinds. Books - all kinds; I like scifi most, I think, I read some fantasy, some contemporary, some poetry, some history, some science, many many botany books; Cooking - I like try new things in the kitchen, and I like eating those things I make; Film - old black and white and silent and autor cinema and new techniques and film criticism, animation and live action, interesting stories, video essays about anything; Writing - I am not very good but I like writing poetry and nonfiction, stories about world how I see it. Camera - my old digital, in cloudy day and rain in spring in dark forest stare up at flowers into clouds and empty branches and these, these are the best colors and shadows.
But if I let myself do all these things for some other reason more than I enjoy them and want do them, I can start feel it drains something important to me from them. That is not to say I can't do them for other things, but I enjoy them, that must come first. Or I will not love them more, I will love less, and feel sad when I do them. It becomes tedium, when I do these more for something other than enjoyment. Happen I should try every week for do these for me, not for something else, not for some other thing. I know really well I don't care, should not care what other people think, happen I dress and talk whatever, and let people think whatever. And I should do same about these, do how I want, do what I feel, express me, and let other people care or not. and let them think my English is broken or weird, I should not care, I should say, take me for what I love or let me go.
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